Monday, February 11, 2008
Come to daddy
So Yahoo! is totally playing hard to get. Everyone thinks they care about more money for shareholders but they're really just trying to save face by talking tough to the media. Damn attention whores! It's kind of like negotiating with a hooker; except you don't only want her for one night, but for the rest of her life. And this particular hooker is married to the President of the United States or something so even though no one likes her except a select few, it's still a big deal in the media. Know what I mean?
I'm trying to stay back and let Ballmer handle this but he was never good at closing the deal with the ladies so I'm not sure if he can handle Yahoo!. He's all like, Bill don't worry about it I've been reading How to Get Your Dick Sucked for Dummies and I think it's really helping. When asked about improved BJ results seen from this he simply tells me it's going to be a good five years before he really starts seeing a return, which is funny because he said the same thing about Yahoo!. Sigh... If I really wanted to end this right away all I would have to do is make two phone calls. The first to my secretary so I can get some afternoon delight and the second to my hitmen who would make Yahoo! an offer they can't refuse. Jerry, I'm going to let Ballmer continue for now, but don't get greedy or else I'll go Godfather on your ass.