Saturday, January 5, 2008

My life sucks is awesome

My life is awesome. Let's face it. Haters want to talk shit about my company and products (Linsux users, I'm talking about you), yet I have over 90 percent market share bitches! Linux, OS X, Solaris, who the hell uses that indie-crap? It’s not about technology boys and girls it’s about dollars. You'll have to make a much larger dent in my profit margins to make moves in my playground. Hurry up, I'm tired of playing tetherball by myself.

You may have noticed that I am in magazines and newspapers but not as often as the ruler of the world deserves, and in my spare time I also run the fake Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. We donate over 1.5 Billion a year to the poor in Africa and Cupertino (no Steve that wasn’t a loan it was a gift). Plus I’m such a cool guy for letting everyone call me Bill; my name is William Henry Gates the Tres you MoFos and I have more money than most countries.

So welcome to my blog. Tell your friends if they want to earn 70 billion and then some, they’d better subscribe. You never know what I’ll decide to write. Maybe I’ll write in C++, or deliver a great speech about how Ballmer really isn’t mentally retarded. The point is I can do whatever I want because I rule the world no matter what the AAPL-crap says.

Be nice to nerds they’ll be your boss one day? Please, I am everyone’s boss and what a sexy playa I am.

Gates out!

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